Choosing a housemate or flat-mate is not a small decision. After all, this person (or people) will dwell in relatively tight quarters with you, share the responsibility for locking the doors, keeping the place clean and paying the rent and utility bills, as well as getting along/tolerating your friends. For most people, this definitely means that thieves, perverts and politicians are out of the question – but unfortunately that doesn’t narrow down the roommate pool very much.
That being the case, you’ll want to consider some other issues when deciding with whom to share your house or apartment. This is regardless of whether you decide to live with a friend, someone you “met” on social media, or a stranger who posted an ad on Craigslist.
These apply whether you’re renting a funky house in Athens, a nice apartment near OSU in Columbus, or a ritzy yurt in Mongolia.
Questions for Your Prospective Housemate(s)
Cleanliness. Take a look at your prospective house or apartment mate’s current habitation or ask someone who currently (or formerly) lived with this person. Are pizza boxes piled on the counter? Are they the one who by default ends up having to vacuum and wash the dishes? Does he leave gobs of black hair in the shower drain? How many trash bags are lined up by the door, and how badly do they reek? Does the housemate pride herself on how long she can go without showering? Unless you have a superhuman ability to change another person’s behavior, it’s time to cross that person off your list.
Personality. Experiencing cabin fever with a chronic Debbie Downer doesn’t sound like much fun. Research has shown that the moods and outlook of a friend and that friend’s friend can have a big effect on your own mood. If someone is depressed all the time, that can’t help but rub off on the folks who live with that person. That said, in some cases opposites really do attract, with conflicting personalities complementing each other. Think of “Friends” or “Sex and the City” (if you’re into retro TV). Having several house or flat-mates with varied personalities can make for a fun and interesting group. On the other hands, depending on the personalities, that can be a nightmare, too.
Responsibility. Is this prospective housemate lazy and/or unfocused in their classes, in work, and in life in general? This could a good indication that you’ll have to hassle the house or apartment mate month after month after month to pay their share of the utilities or rent. Life’s too short to be forced to nag someone constantly for something they ought to be responsible enough to do themselves.
Social Traits. Some people who make great friends but lousy housemates. A bubbly, gregarious person who always has something fun happening could make a great roommate. But if you’re more of a quiet, studious person, this could be an issue. If you do opt to live together, it’s a good idea to discuss various potential issues, and agree on when and how often friends or visitors can hang out and stay at your shared apartment or house. If there’s any danger of living together imperiling your friendship, you should probably think twice about that decision.
Boyfriend/Girlfriend. Let’s face it: some couples are very tight. If you like the housemate’s boyfriend or girlfriend, this doesn’t need to be a huge issue. If he or she annoys or otherwise bothers you, prepare yourself for spending a lot of time locked in your room or at a friend’s place. However, provided the significant other is respectful and you and your roommate can spend some time without that romantic partner, this shouldn’t be a big problem.
You Don’t Have to Be Close Friends to Make it Work
Regardless of whom you choose, it’s important to remember that some house or apartment mates end up co-existing, while others form tight, lifelong bonds. Either scenario can work well. Also recognize that in this relationship, you have the potential to be the one who’s bothering or annoying your housemate. Try to keep that in mind in your everyday life.